Alexandra
“I thought you’d backed out,” I flinch at the loud voice. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even hear the door open.
“No,” I say, catching his reflection in the mirror. “I decided to go.” My voice trembles. It’s the memories—they won’t leave me alone.
“For long?” He doesn’t bother hiding his irritation.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I mutter, looking away and pretending to rummage through my makeup bag.
“I’ve got another shift. I can’t stay with Polina.”
“I’ve already arranged it with Mom. She’ll pick her up,” I reply softly. I didn’t even expect him to offer to watch our daughter.
“Dresses?” He walks over to the bed. “Is it really that hard to pick one for a meet-up with your friends?” He snorts, pushing them aside to lie down.
“Not really,” I say, getting up from the ottoman and starting to hang the clothes back in the closet.
Under Myron’s watchful gaze, I grab a light blue dress and head to the bathroom. It’s one of the few professional outfits in my wardrobe. I slip it on, pairing it with a cropped white blazer. I pin my long, dark hair back with a clip. Ignoring the fear in my brown eyes, I lightly brush mascara on my lashes, dust on some powder, and apply a soft pink lipstick. My bag is already packed, so all that’s left is to leave and hurry so I don’t run late. Myron is lying there with his eyes closed, so I quietly slip out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
Ten minutes later, I reach the bus stop, and within an hour, I’m in Dnipro. I’m short on time, so I call a cab. There’s no chance to swing by Alina’s to drop off my bag, so I’ll have to head to the interview with it. It throws a small wrench in my plans, but it doesn’t change them.
Standing in front of the building, my nerves kick in. A shiver runs through me, and my legs feel like jelly. I’ve wanted this for so long that I overthought every detail of my resume and was especially hard on myself when writing a few lines about why I’m the right fit for the job. I spent days agonizing over that question: “Why should you work at our company?” The hope that I’ll get hired is so strong, it feels like the most important thing in my life.
My phone starts ringing in my bag. Alina’s smiling face lights up the screen.
“Alina, I didn’t make it to your place,” I mumble, pushing the door open.
“I figured. Are you heading to the interview?”
“Of course. I’m already here. Just about to go up. As soon as I’m done, I’ll come straight to you guys.”
“Yura will pick you up. It’s on his way.”
“Okay… Hold on a sec, please,” I raise my voice, rushing toward the elevator. “Alright, Alina, gotta go,” I say as I dart into the elevator, nearly colliding with a man. My fingers fumble, and my phone slips, clattering loudly to the floor. Fear paralyzes me. I look up into a face I’ve spent five years trying to forget. My thoughts scatter, and my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest. Those blue eyes stare back at me, surprised and intense.
A woman steps in behind me and presses her floor. I snap out of it. I pick up my phone and fix my gaze on a random spot, trying to recall what I read about the company. I scoured every detail, and his name never came up. Could this just be a coincidence?
God… Why is this happening? Why do I have to relive these memories?
Everything blurs before my eyes. I feel like I might pass out. All my other worries fade into the background, insignificant. Childish, even. When the elevator doors slide open, I bolt out behind the woman and practically run toward the stairs. The interview is over before it even started. I won’t step foot in this building again. I’m ready to give up on my dream job just to avoid facing this bitter past. Because I can’t… Because my heart will shatter…
Outside, it doesn’t get any easier. I walk aimlessly, putting distance between me and the building. I buy a bottle of water and sit on a bench, trying to pull myself together so I can call Alina. She mentioned something about Yura, but I can’t remember. Everything’s slipped my mind. After a few minutes, I manage to steady my breathing and dial her number. Thankfully, the screen didn’t crack. Though right now, that’s the least of my problems.
“Alina,” I croak, my voice not my own. “You said something about Yura…”
“Oh, you’re done already? How’d it go?”
“Fine. Just talked a bit,” I lie. I can’t tell her I changed my mind. She, more than anyone, knows how much this dream meant to me.
“Yura’s on his way now.”
“I’ll wait for him by the nearest supermarket. Had to walk a bit—needed a drink.”
“Summer’s right around the corner,” she says with a satisfied tone. “Finally, we’re all getting together again.”
I’m not sure how long I wait. When I spot Yura’s car, I force a weak smile onto my face and hurry over.
“Hey,” he grins, taking my bag.
“I’m not putting you out, am I?”
“Wouldn’t dare complain. You guys don’t get together often enough.”
He distracts me with small talk, and it helps a little. Still, that encounter shook me to my core. Maybe because it’s the first time in five long years?
At Alina’s place, we manage to grab a coffee before Yura drives us to the university. I’m already regretting agreeing to this. My knees are shaking at the thought of returning to a place where I shed so many tears. All the good memories have faded, as if they never existed. All that’s left is bitterness, resentment, fear, and guilt.
“Girls, you finally decided to show up?” Lizka huffs from the entrance. “Well, come on!” She hugs us one by one. “We’re all here at last. Let’s go, there’s a concert.”
“Since when do you go to concerts?” Alina laughs.
“Ha-ha-ha,” Lizka mocks, strutting ahead in sky-high heels. Her tight beige dress hugs her perfect figure in a way that’s almost too alluring. Unlike her, I’ve put on a few pounds. “Concerts come in all kinds,” she says, turning back to us. “Maybe I’ll snag a professor tonight,” she flashes a wide grin on her tanned face. Alina, as usual, just rolls her eyes. And me…
Me, as usual, I’m thinking about him…
The hall is packed. Students, professors, guests. On stage, a group of girls is singing. Alina and I sit together, while Lizka takes the seat behind me.
“Wonder who else from our crowd showed up?” Alina scans the room.
I don’t have the urge to look around, so I stare blankly at the stage. My head’s a mess of questions. I regret letting Lizka talk me into coming to this alumni reunion. There’s a dinner planned at a restaurant afterward, but all I want is to lie down in silence and reclaim some precious peace of mind. To heal the wound that reopened today with a sharp, stinging pain. I thought it had faded. I guess disappointments like this live forever in our hearts, just expertly hidden in the deepest drawers we’re too scared to open.
“I called everyone. Even Ptashnyk, who’s all the way out in the Carpathians,” Lizka announces.
“Of course you called him,” Alina snickers, drawing a faint smile to my lips.
“Yeah, now I’m wondering if I was wrong to brush him off,” Lizka grumbles from behind.
The song ends, and the crowd starts clapping. Latecomers shuffle past us. My gaze lands on a man in a suit. It’s like slow motion as he walks by. Confident, as always. My reaction is instant. I need to get out of here. Run as far as I can. I don’t know if he saw me, but the girls definitely noticed him. I watch as he makes his way to the front, near the stage, and finds a seat.
“Whoa! Girls, did you see who showed up? Nothing’s changed. He’s still… Ugh, someone hold me back,” Lizka hisses loudly, not realizing that her words are dragging me back five years into the past…