Selinj Sultan
What a gorgeous day! The sky is a flawless blue canvas, not a single cloud in sight, with the sun blazing high at its peak. Its rays generously pour warmth over everything alive. I can feel that warmth in every cell of my body; it seeps deep into my soul, gently illuminating every corner. The trees chatter among themselves with their green leaves, while the breeze carries greetings from their distant kin. I can hear the sound of the sea... It’s high tide. The blue ocean waves crash against the sandy shore over and over. I stroll along the beach with a slow, light step. I’m wearing a pristine white dress that suits me perfectly, my long black hair cascading over my shoulders like dark serpents. The wind plays with it, crafting whimsical hairstyles. I’m happy. My heart feels so light and joyful. I gather the hem of my dress in my hands and sprint forward. My bare feet sink into the sand, but it doesn’t slow me down—I’m happy! The cool spray of the Bosphorus water brushes against my feet, but it doesn’t scare me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good. I look ahead, and from beyond the horizon, a silhouette emerges. It’s coming toward me. Closer, closer... It’s a man... Or rather, a young guy... He looks young at first glance... Handsome... I can already hear his breathing. Now he’s right here, so close. He looks straight into my face, smiling tenderly.
“Oh, beautiful stranger, is it the sun shining so brightly, or is it your eyes? Tell me, what’s your name?”
Blushing, I study the young man closely, unable to figure out why on earth he’s saying these words to me. Snapping out of it, I reply softly:
“Selinj... My name is Selinj...” For some reason, I feel like I’ve seen this face before, so I quickly add, “Have you ever been to Topkapi?”
“Selinj... What a beautiful name. It suits you. Topkapi? Oh no, I haven’t had the honor.”
“Strange... What’s your name?”
And suddenly, another, more insistent voice drowns out the stranger’s.
“Selinj... Selinj Sultan. My Sultan... Oh Allah, could she be sick? Sultan? Selinj!”
I open my eyes and look around in alarm. Where’s the beach? Where’s the sun? Where’s the handsome guy? Was it a dream? Oh heavens, what a pity! I’d give anything to not wake up from that. What could be better than strolling along a sandy seaside with a fairy-tale knight (for some reason, I felt like “my stranger” was indeed a knight)?
“Sultan...”
It was a dream, no doubt about it. I’m in my chambers, in my bed, and standing beside me is a worried young girl trying to figure out if I’m asleep or not. I look closer, and it’s Jem—my loyal servant, friend, and the only person I trust completely without reservation.
“What’s wrong?” I snap a little irritably at the girl.
“You scared me, Sultan. I thought you were sick...”
“I was having such an amazing dream, and you ruined it! The beach, the sun, the sound of the waves...”
Emphasizing the word “such,” I let out a sweet yawn and stretch in bed. Jem, however, isn’t in the mood for my idle chatter and cuts me off sharply:
“Sultan, Shehzade Murad wants to see you. Right now.”
“What?” I bolt out of bed, nearly knocking over the servant, who clearly wasn’t expecting that. “Murad never calls for me this early. What does this mean?”
Jem shrugs. Obviously, the servant knows nothing. Well, I’ll have to find out for myself.
“My dress?”
“It’s ready. Girls, help the Sultan get dressed quickly!”
At the command, two pretty young odalisques rush over to me. The delicate hands of the servants begin their magic around the beautiful young daughter of the Padishah. One helps me wash up, another tightens the corset of my dress, a third arranges my hair, while someone else fastens a necklace and a small diadem. In record time, I’m already glowing with the elegance familiar to everyone in the harem.
“I’m off to see my brother, Jem. You stay in the chambers.”
My words echo off the walls of the room for a moment as the door closes behind me. With my light stride, I quickly pass a few turns and a short staircase, and soon I’m standing before the doors to Shehzade’s quarters. Something’s definitely off in there. The eunuchs bow as they spot their Sultan from a distance and immediately open the doors.
Paying no attention to the servants, I step inside, pausing for just a moment at the threshold. One thought torments me: What’s wrong with my beloved brother Murad? Why did he call for me so early? Shehzade’s chambers are well-lit, exuding warmth and coziness, just like their owner. But where is he? It’s quiet and empty all around. For a moment, I think I’m too late, that something irreversible has already happened. Though, if I think logically, it’s unlikely the heir to the throne would call for his older sister—by just a year—in a moment of danger instead of the guards, servants, or even our father and mother...
“Sister...”
From the terrace comes Murad’s rather cheerful voice. Oh, I’m such an idiot—of course, he’s there! With quick steps, almost running, I reach the balcony. The light of the first sunrays stings my eyes. Shehzade stands by the railing, admiring the sunrise. Seeing me, he flashes a bright smile and extends his arms. My face must look so worried that even he instinctively grows cautious.
“Something wrong, Selinj?”
I rush to him, gently yet firmly grasping his outstretched hands.
“Wrong? Is something up with you?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and quietly asks, “I don’t get it. I’m fine.”
“You didn’t call for me at dawn?”
Now I’m the one looking at him like he’s crazy. It feels like we’re switching roles. Murad catches on quicker than I can process everything and decides to mess with me:
“Call you? Nah...”
Can you imagine my shock? They wake me up first thing in the morning, saying Shehzade is waiting for me, I rush over as fast as I can, and turns out he knows nothing about it. Watching the expressions change on my face, Murad can’t hold it in and bursts into loud laughter:
“Relax, you worrywart. I did call for you. Geez, you’re such a scaredy-cat. So easy to freak out.”
“Murad, I swear I’m gonna kill you one day! I’ll throw you off this terrace!”
Angry as I am, I’ve threatened him like this plenty of times. And as always, he just cracks up. He finds it hilarious to tease me. To back up my words, I give him a solid shove on the shoulder, which only makes Shehzade laugh harder.
“You won’t throw me off, Selinj. You love me. You promised Valide to protect me with your life, even from everyone, including Father. I know about it. Thought I wouldn’t find out? I know everything. Shh, don’t be mad, sis...”
“Who told you I love you? Even Kiraz Aga looks more like a Shehzade than you do. If I could pick a brother, you’d be my last choice!”
I say this a bit more calmly and bite my lip. Murad’s relentless laughter sometimes drives me up the wall. Shehzade knows this, so he tones it down a bit and, in response to my “sweet threats,” gently puts his arm around my shoulder.
“So, you’re refusing to be the sister of a future Sultan? That’s not good, Selinj. I’d have put you in charge of the harem...”
“Oh, become one first, then we’ll talk,” I reply with a skeptical smile and rest my head on his shoulder. Despite being a year older, at sixteen, Murad is already a real young man, a whole head taller than me. I adore him—it’s true. He knows it, so he feels completely safe with his words when I’m around. Maybe even too safe. I worry that his bluntness and sincerity might one day play a cruel trick on him because, as they say, even the walls have ears. Murad loves me just as much as I love him, admitting that no one else in the family would so selflessly cover up all his little missteps. There’s no thin line between us that usually separates a brother and sister, a Shehzade heir and a Sultan of the Dynasty. We’re one unit, our sibling bond sealed by our mother’s milk, and no one could ever tear it apart. Constantly threatening to destroy each other, we only show how much we value this friendship... A moment later, I add:
“Quiet, Murad. If Valide hears, we’ll both get it... So, why did you call me?”
He smiles.
“The sunrise, Selinj. Look at this beauty...”
I open my eyes as wide as I can:
“So, I missed the end of my dream for this? For a sunrise? Have I never seen the sun before? Murad, I don’t even know what to say to you.”
“Sleepyhead! All you wanna do is sleep! Let’s have breakfast together and talk.”
“But I missed such a dream because of you!” I can’t calm down. It’s easier for Murad; he wakes up with the sun every morning, while I could sleep until noon.
“And what was so special about this dream?”
Shehzade raises an eyebrow meaningfully. I know that look—he’s intrigued. Well, my fault. Now I have to tell him; my brother won’t let it go.
“The beach, the sun, the tide. I was walking along the shore, the wind blowing through my hair. I was so happy!”
“That’s it?” His question drips with skepticism and mischief, forcing me to summon all my acting skills to answer as casually as possible:
“Of course. What else?”
“I don’t know... Maybe Hasan Pasha was strolling on that beach too...”
“Yeah, he was. He told me you’re marrying Mother’s servant Esmi.”
And with that, our little verbal sparring match ends. We stand by the terrace, gazing at the dawn sky. The breeze carries the scent of blooming gardens to us, mingling it with the fresh sea air.
“Selinj...”
I glance at my brother and, seeing a hint of worry on his face, raise an eyebrow in question.
“You know, yesterday the Sovereign spoke with Valide. He told her it’s time for me to head to a sanjak...”
Oh yes, I was sure these thoughts were eating at Murad. Every Shehzade dreams of heading out to govern a province as soon as possible; it’s a key part of preparing to inherit the throne. I’d heard this news too, but I was waiting for him to bring it up first. No wonder he called me so early.
“Worried? Don’t be. It’s all clear. Valide is busy with matters of your future harem right now, so she won’t be arranging your departure to a sanjak. She’ll probably talk Father out of it.”
“Don’t even think that! Mother wouldn’t do that to me! She knows how long I’ve been waiting for this!”
“Murad, you know if you go, she’ll have to go with you. She doesn’t want to leave Istanbul. Who’ll keep Dilruba in check?” The question is valid. It so happens that the Sovereign has two wives: the main one, our Valide Amira Sultan, who gave the Dynasty the chief heir, Shehzade Murad, and two Sultans (me and my younger sister Gevherhan), but there’s also Dilruba Sultan, mother to our little Shehzade Erdogan and fifteen-year-old Safiye Sultan. Yes, I’m the eldest child of the Padishah; a year later came Murad, then Safiye, Gevherhan (they’re almost the same age), and finally Erdogan, who just turned seven. That’s how it is. And, of course, there’s always been a fierce rivalry between our mother and Dilruba Sultan for Father’s attention and love. If Murad goes to a sanjak, by tradition, Valide must go with him, leaving Father to Dilruba. She’d never agree to that.
“But I’m not a kid anymore. Sister, how can you not get it...?”
“I get it. I’m just telling you so you understand too. The preparations will take a long time. I think Manisa is waiting for you just as much as you’re waiting for it.”
“You think Manisa?” Hope sparkles in his eyes. Of course, the sanjak of Saruhan (aka Manisa) is the main one, the shortest path to the throne. It’s a great honor to govern there.
“No doubt...”
I’m not thrilled about the news of Shehzade’s departure, so I’m mostly trying to reassure myself. If he leaves, he’ll grow up. He’ll find a love, have responsibilities, then a child. He’ll stop being my beloved little brother. Even now, I’m insanely jealous of Murad with everyone around him, men or women, doesn’t matter. I won’t stand for some outsider listening to his secrets. Shehzade notices my sadness, so with a smile, he pulls me close:
“Don’t worry, I’ll take you with me first thing.”
“Who needs you?” I reply with mock rudeness to hide my drooping spirits.
“And who else is gonna be my Grand Vizier if not you?” He winks meaningfully, and we both dissolve into friendly laughter. A bit more chatting, joking, and serious pondering, and we both leave the chambers, fully at ease, going our separate ways: Murad to his military training, and me to the harem, where I’ll wander aimlessly until noon, dodging Valide’s servants who are surely spying on all of us somewhere.
Running from Mother’s kalfa, I nearly crash into Hatice, the servant of my aunt, the Padishah’s sister, Gulcicek Sultan. She’s in such a hurry that she almost knocks me over.
“Forgive me, Sultan. I didn’t see you,” she says, paling. Even if I’m at fault, the servant must apologize. That’s just how these crazy rules work. I smile:
“No worries, I wanted to be invisible today. Guess I succeeded...”
Giving the frightened Hatun a glance, I smile again. If she’s here, it can only mean one thing—my aunt is at Topkapi. I’m not sure if this news makes me happy or sad. My feelings toward Father’s sister are mixed. Sometimes I love her, sometimes I’m not so fond of her, especially when she argues with Mother. What brought her to the palace today? Well, I’m about to find out. Tilting my head to the left in curiosity, I fix the girl with my dark eyes. This gesture clearly shows I’m interested. Growing up among perfect, majestic, and haughty people, I’ve learned to be like them to blend in. The language of gestures and looks was my favorite lesson, taught to me by my family. Trying to keep the promise I made to Mother to stay true to myself, I increasingly resemble them, though few know who I really am.
“And where are you rushing off to? Is Gulcicek Sultan in the palace?” I ask, looking at her kindly.
“Yes, Sultan. She’s with Valide Sultan. And I’ve been ordered to find Melek Kalfa.”
“Oh, I see... I just saw her in the tashlik,” I recall, thinking of how I was dodging the harem’s chief treasurer. Hatice thanks me and hurries off after the kalfa, while I, like a light spring breeze, dart toward the chambers of the great Valide Nebahat Sultan, the harem’s overseer. Intrigues without me? No way, that’s not happening.
The doors, made of red oak, securely shield the secrets of their occupant from the outside world. Since I was a child, these chambers have intimidated me. They reek of schemes and mysteries. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandmother. But I don’t like spending much time in her quarters, unlike Gevherhan, who even hides under the bed to stay there longer. I find it much more interesting to meet Valide in the harem or the garden. And now here I am, at her door. There’s a whole entourage of servants here. Looks like Ayshe, Gulcicek’s daughter, has come too.
“Inform Valide Sultan that I’m here.”
One of the servants obediently carries out my order and returns a minute later.
“Valide said to come back later.”
“Who’s with her?”
“Gulcicek Sultan and Ayshe Sultan, Sultan.”
“Got it. Then I’ll wait until Valide can see me.”
Not wanting to miss anything important, I decide to wait right here. If there’s one thing I don’t lack, it’s patience.
About twenty minutes later, footsteps echo in the corridor. I can’t mistake that walk: slow, cautious, calm. No doubt about it—Dilruba is approaching. Sure enough, a minute later, the Padishah’s favorite is walking toward me. A friendly smile lights up her face. I look at that smile and can’t tell if she’s just that good at pretending or if she’s genuinely glad to see me here. But purely for the sake of protocol, I politely nod in greeting as soon as she says my name.
“Selinj, you’re such a beauty! You get prettier every day. You know, yesterday the Sovereign told me you’ve inherited all the best traits of our Dynasty.”
“I already know that, Dilruba Sultan. The Sovereign told my Valide Amira Sultan the same thing on the sacred night from Thursday to Friday.” My reply isn’t exactly polite; right now, my mother’s blood is speaking through me. The thing is, the night from Thursday to Friday is sacred. Father spends it only with his main wife, my mother. Naturally, this doesn’t sit well with his other favorite. You could say it’s a sore spot for her.
Still, Dilruba doesn’t bother me, and she even takes this with her usual calm, so I decide to speak more conciliatorily.
“How’s my brother?”
A smile brightens the woman’s face at this question. She could talk about him forever.
“He’s doing great, thank you. Today he begged me to take him to his father. He misses him a lot. And he often mentions you and Murad. He really wants to play with you two. Safiye isn’t enough for him.”
“I’ll visit him sometime. Murad’s busy, but maybe he’ll find time too.”
At that moment, a servant emerges from Valide’s chambers, announcing that the Sultans are waiting for us. The doors open, and Dilruba and I enter together. I’m curious about the reason for all this secrecy. Surely, they must have been discussing something very serious if even I wasn’t allowed in right away. Hopefully, everything will become clear now.
Valide sits proudly on her majestic divan in the center of the chambers. Dressed in a luxurious purple gown with gold embroidery on the hem and corset, she looks as regal as ever. A massive crown adorns her high hairstyle, and a heavy ruby necklace gleams around her neck. Despite her age, she’s still beautiful. Her full lips shine with a smile, and the tiny wrinkles around her deep brown eyes add a special charm to her face.
Beside her sits Gulcicek. She hasn’t inherited all of her mother’s allure, but she still looks stunning. Right now, her eyes sparkle with satisfaction, as if she’s achieved something she wanted. Off to the side, on some cushions, sits my cousin, the lovely Ayshe. Her dark red dress accentuates her slender figure, and a bronze belt adds a harmonious touch. I get along well with Ayshe, though I’m a bit wary of her.
Bowing to my grandmother and aunt, I approach confidently, kissing Valide’s hand first, then Gulcicek’s.
“Sultans, I wish you a wonderful day! Valide, did you really think you could hide my aunt and cousin from me?”
Grandmother smiles warmly, looking at me.
“Sit down, Selinj. You too, Dilruba. No, my dear, I had to discuss an important matter with them. Now you’ll be the first to know...”