It’s always a comfort to return to a place where even the walls seem to welcome you. Demyan’s home is as cozy as ever, radiating a vibe so warm and inviting that I wish I could’ve bottled it up and taken it with me. At first, I missed this sense of comfort and security terribly. As I step over the threshold, Muska, who’s grown from a cute little kitten into a well-fed cat, comes bounding toward us. But upon seeing me, the fluffy lady suddenly starts hissing.
“Proof that she hasn’t seen a single woman in this house while you’ve been away,” Dem smirks. “Muska, you chubby thing, it’s one of us! Don’t you recognize Yaska? Though…” He turns to me, casting a mysterious glance that flickers with countless dark stars. “You’ve changed, Miss Kitten. I wouldn’t have recognized you either. My little mouse has turned into a bombshell. …Hungry? Let me feed you. And don’t even think about telling me you don’t eat after six. I think a soft, feminine curve on your tummy wouldn’t hurt,” I know what he’s doing—delaying the inevitable conversation, the moment he’ll have to confess something that’s clearly terrifying this strong, confident guy.
“I don’t need any extra curves, thank you. My tummy is just fine as it is. And I’m not hungry,” I say, dropping my purse onto the floor and taking his hand. “Demyan, I need to know what’s troubling you. Drive me crazy some other way, not with this tension.”
“Then I need a drink first. Sit,” he says, his movements sharp and jittery, a sign of something tearing him apart inside. Pouring himself a splash of whiskey, he doesn’t sit just anywhere—he lowers himself to the floor… right at my feet.
“Babe… I hit someone. A girl… a pregnant girl,” he says, and I stop breathing. “She darted out right in front of me. I was riding my bike around midnight, sober, maybe going a bit over the speed limit since the street was completely empty… and then, out of the bushes… I couldn’t react in time. It all happened so horribly fast. …And it’s still eating me alive. I can’t find peace. I called an ambulance and the police right away. Luckily, there were cameras in that area. They told me at the station, ‘It’s clear someone was chasing her, and she ran without looking, panicking as she bolted onto the road.’ They didn’t press charges, labeled it as a ‘tragic accident due to the pedestrian’s reckless behavior,’ and only fined me for speeding. I won’t lie, though—I have friends on the force, and maybe that’s why they let it slide, though I didn’t ask for any favors. The fact is, the girl was seven months pregnant. Due to her injuries, they had to deliver the baby. The little one is alive but in the NICU for preemies, and the mother’s in a coma. The doctors can’t guarantee she’ll make it. They say if she wakes up, it’ll be a miracle, but more likely… damn it… No one’s looking for her. She had no ID on her, and she’s not in any database. I don’t even know her name. I’ve paid for their treatment, to at least save the baby and do everything possible for her. Yaska, I feel so awful…”
“When did this happen?” I exhale, stunned.
“Three days ago. That’s why I didn’t call… I couldn’t,” his voice is hollow and broken again. I reach out, stroking his head, and he immediately rests it on my lap, nuzzling closer.
“Dem, you didn’t mean for this to happen. It really was a tragic accident. The girl ran onto the road in a place she shouldn’t have. I feel so sorry for her and the baby, but what can we do?”
“If I’d been going just a bit slower, maybe her injuries wouldn’t have been so severe. I’ve never even hit a dog in my life, even though I’ve raced down highways at insane speeds, and now… this. I went to the hospital… I looked at them, at her, then at the baby. And it’s so damn hard.”
“You should’ve called me right away and told me everything instead of carrying this guilt alone,” I say, running my fingers through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to offer some comfort.
“You don’t tell someone you care about something like this over the phone. No one else knows about this, only you,” he says, and I realize I’m the only one Demyan felt he could confide in. “But that’s not all. …They told me that if no relatives are found and the baby survives and recovers, in two months, the boy will be put up for adoption. It seems no one really believes the mom will wake up, and even if she does… it’s unclear if she’ll be able to care for him. After injuries like that, people often end up disabled. So, long story short… I’ve decided to adopt the child myself. But in my case, adoption requires a complete family, meaning I need to get married. And I want you to be my wife.”
Good thing I’m sitting down, because after his words, the living room suddenly starts spinning, as if someone flipped on an invisible carousel.
“What… what did you just say?” I’m not just shocked—I’m floored. My thoughts scatter like atoms splitting apart.
“This doesn’t mean I want to dump the responsibility on you, demand you change your life, or beg you to be a mother to this child. Not at all. Just be by my side. Yanina, let me be with you,” he lifts his head and looks into my eyes so intensely that it feels like he’s baring his fractured soul to me with that gaze.
“Demyan… I… I’m in shock. You need to calm down. You’re clearly dealing with post-traumatic stress,” I stammer. First, he stunned me with the news of hitting someone, and now he’s knocked me sideways with this proposal. “Decisions made on emotion aren’t always the right ones. Give yourself time. Maybe the baby has a grandmother or an aunt somewhere. Maybe that girl will wake up and fight so hard to live that she’ll get back on her feet. Miracles do happen. Don’t rush things. People usually get married for different reasons, not like this,” my skin prickles with strange, burning flashes, as if hot sparks are swirling toward me from the gray ash of his eyes. We keep staring at each other, unblinking.
“Alright, Yaska, I’ll give us time,” he says seriously, with restraint and a hell of a lot of confidence. “But I’m done just being friends. Or rather, I don’t just need you as a friend. …I need you as the woman I want to wake up next to every morning. I’ve been patient for long enough, trying to play by your rules. I’m warning you, babe, this Demon is losing his mind over you.”