Dedicated to Katie. Though we’re no longer friends, you’ll always have a place in my heart.
Diary of Winning a Woman’s Heart
☆
I never thought a rejection from a beautiful lady could cut so deep into my tender heart.
Well, dear followers, she’s done it again—Katie brushed me off like I’m some kind of loser. She shattered the heart that so desperately craved her warmth…
So tonight, with a clear conscience, I found that warmth elsewhere. ;)
You might say that’s wrong. But what else was I supposed to do? She turned down the flowers I sent her. I’ll admit, real ones might’ve been a better choice. But didn’t that handful of daisies I dropped into her DMs hint at my boundless love? Apparently not.
☆
A few days ago, I ran into Katie in the university hallway. Well, “ran into” might be a stretch. She walked right past me without even acknowledging her own name. Guess she had her nose so high in the air, it must’ve blocked her ears.
☆
Honestly, I’m at my wit’s end. She’s… she’s… I’ve never met someone so unattainable, even though charming other girls has never been an issue for me.
I’ve written about Katie’s strengths plenty of times, and you all know them by now. Meanwhile, you, my loyal followers, have compiled a whole list of her flaws. But here’s the thing—none of that matters. She’s incredible. I truly believe that.
Want me to tell you how I see her? Katie is fiercely proud and knows her worth. She’s strong and independent, though for some reason, she can’t stand cats. You’d think it’d be the opposite, right?
She’s sassy. I know you might see that as a flaw, but word on the street is that sassy girls are dynamite in the bedroom. Plus, there’s a certain charm to it.
Arrogance. It’s the first thing you notice when you talk to her. Makes you want to tap her on the nose just to bring her down a peg.
Show-off. This one’s my favorite. Oh, if I could just find the anonymous genius who called her that, I’d shake their hand without a doubt.
One of Katie’s best traits? Her bluntness. Sometimes, the harshest words slip from those soft lips, and I can’t help but think—she must know a thing or two about bedroom games.
And then there’s her caring side. The way she worries about whether someone kept me warm at night—it hits me right in the heart. Let me quote one of her replies to a cute cat meme and good morning message I sent: “GET LOST WITH YOUR FLOOZIES, YOU JERK! AND TAKE THOSE CREEPY HAIRLESS CATS WITH YOU! YOU’RE DRIVING ME INSANE!”
I guess Kitty-Kat woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. But hey, it’s sweet that she’s jealous. ;)
So, to sum it up: Katie is one tough cookie, the likes of which the world has never seen. As a true hunter at heart, I can’t resist the urge to win her over.
☆
Did you know her username (Catherine Earnshaw) suits our Katie perfectly? That character was a rude spitfire too. Still, I find it incredibly endearing.
☆
The day before yesterday, Katie blocked me from sending private messages. Good thing our dear admin hasn’t added a feature to blacklist users.
Now I’m posting love notes on her wall. I’ve got nothing to hide—I’m an open book. And with your support, dear friends, I know I’m on the right track.
But Katie’s mad about it again. Says her boyfriend will get jealous. Honestly, I don’t get how she can even have a boyfriend when I’m right here???
☆
You know, dear followers, despite all my heartache, I’m not giving up hope. I believe my icy, proud Catherine will eventually melt and fall for a regular college guy like me. She just hasn’t realized yet that fate itself brought us together.