Italy, 1805
She had just turned twenty, and her maid was finishing the delicate task of arranging the veil in her hair. Beside her stood her aunt Leopoldina, who couldn’t stop gushing about how beautiful she looked. According to her, she was the most stunning bride she had ever seen.
— You look absolutely breathtaking! Simply breathtaking!
— Thank you, Aunt Leopoldina, — she smiled at the older woman, catching her reflection in the mirror.
Today was the big day. She was marrying Giuseppe Ferrini, a baron from Trento and the best friend of her brother, Marco Alessandro. Her future husband was nearly twenty years her senior, yet he was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on.
— Do you know what will happen when you and your husband are alone? — Leopoldina asked with a knowing tone.
— In the marriage bed? — she replied, a hint of embarrassment coloring her voice. Her cheeks burned at the thought. When she heard her aunt’s explanation, her blush deepened even further.
The bride took one last look at herself in the grand mirror of her bedroom. Memories flooded her mind. Ever since she was a little girl, she had dreamed of dancing with Giuseppe. As far back as she could remember, she had been in love with him. Her heart had harbored countless dreams of marrying him and starting a family. When she played with her dolls, she was the Baroness of Trento, and the imaginary father was always Giuseppe. Always Giuseppe! She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. The moment of her debut arrived, and she danced with him. As days turned into weeks and they met at various balls, Giuseppe kissed her. Her first kiss! A kiss that made her feel as if she were floating on cotton clouds. Soon after, the Baron of Trento confessed his love for her. Kisses, embraces, and flirtations followed. Giuseppe spoke to Marco Alessandro, seeking permission to court his younger sister. After six months of courtship, they were engaged. The engagement party was a grand affair, and she proudly walked arm in arm with her fiancé. They set the wedding date for six months later.
And now, the great day had arrived! She blushed again, recalling her aunt’s words about what would happen in the marriage bed.
— My dear, — her brother called out, — You look beautiful.
— Thank you, — she said, kissing his cheek.
— Our parents would be so proud of you.
— I miss them so much, — she sighed. The duke patted her hand gently before kissing it.
— Come, Donatella, the groom must be getting impatient.
They traveled in a magnificent carriage drawn by six white horses. The decorations were exquisite, with flowers adorning the pews. Family and friends from both sides awaited their arrival. She entered the majestic Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore. The aisle to the altar was long, but from the entrance, she could see Giuseppe, looking striking in his formal attire. The wedding march swelled from the choir as her little niece Rossi, just three years old, walked ahead, scattering rose petals from a small basket. Finally, she reached her beloved groom. He took her hand and kissed it.
— Most beautiful! — the baron whispered, gazing at her with adoration. She blushed under his gaze.
The priest began the ceremony, which, to Donatella, passed in the blink of an eye.
— I now pronounce you husband and wife, — she heard the priest declare. — You may kiss the bride, — he gestured with a wave of his hand.
Giuseppe took her in his arms and kissed her on the lips. Still blushing, she received congratulations from her brother and sister-in-law, her nephews, friends, and acquaintances.
She felt utterly blissful!
The celebration was to be held at the Lucchesi estate, where they would spend the night before departing for Trento the next day to establish their new home. They danced, drank, and feasted to their hearts’ content.
— I’m so happy to see you this joyful, — said Adriana, Donatella’s best friend.
— I truly am! — she exclaimed, embracing her. — I hope you find your happiness soon.
— I’m in no rush, — Adriana teased. At twenty, she had no desire to marry just yet.
The friends bid each other farewell as the guests slowly began to depart. Soon, the newlyweds were alone. Donatella nestled into the arms of her dashing husband.
— I love you, — he kissed her with urgency.
— I love you more, — she replied when they paused for breath.
Giuseppe swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom they would share. Donatella felt nervous about what would happen in the marriage bed, recalling her aunt Leopoldina’s words.
The baron set her down on the bed and said, — I’ll call your maid to assist you.
Blushing, she nodded. She watched him leave the room and sat on the edge of the bed.
— Good evening, Baroness, — the maid greeted her, addressing her by her new title. The young woman allowed herself to be undressed, slipping into a white nightgown. Her hair was brushed out and left loose. Donatella climbed into bed and waited, sitting upright. Hours passed, and her husband did not appear. Finally, nearing midnight, she decided to lie down. Exhausted, her eyes grew heavy. Moments later, she heard Giuseppe enter the room. The baron removed his boots and lay down beside her. She felt his arms wrap around her, followed by the sound of his snores.
The next day, after breakfast with the Lucchesi family, they set off. Donatella was thrilled to begin this new chapter as the Baroness of Trento. She assumed her husband hadn’t consummated the marriage due to exhaustion, the same exhaustion she had felt.
Hours later, they arrived in Trento at the grand manor owned by her husband. He told her she was now the lady of the house. He introduced her to the butler and the housekeeper, who welcomed her warmly, followed by the rest of the staff.
That night, she thought Giuseppe might take her, but it didn’t happen. Again, he came to bed late, following the same routine—lying beside her, embracing her, and falling asleep. She was happy to spend the night with her husband, but after a month of marriage, she gathered her courage and went to his study. Giuseppe welcomed her with a delighted kiss, but she had questions to ask.
— My dearest, why do you look so worried?
— Well… I don’t know how to say this, — she began nervously, fidgeting with her hands.
— You know you can trust me with anything, — he encouraged her, pulling her into a comforting embrace.
She felt reassured in the arms of the husband she loved with all her heart. She hoped he wouldn’t be upset by what she was about to ask.
— I was wondering… — she blushed, — why we haven’t consummated our marriage.
Donatella noticed her husband tense up.
— Oh, my sweet girl! — Giuseppe exclaimed, relaxing slightly as he embraced her again and kissed her. — I’ll give you the consummation you’ve been longing for.
Overjoyed, the young woman ordered the kitchen to prepare her husband’s favorite dishes for dinner, determined to make that night special.
*********
Donatella noticed that her husband was drinking heavily that evening. Attentive as ever, he held her hand from time to time and even fed her a piece of veal from his own fork. But he was on his sixth glass of wine.
— Giuseppe, — she called softly, — don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?
— Not at all, my dear! — he replied, his voice slightly unsteady. — I’m just feeling a bit merry.
By the time dessert arrived, the baron was more than merry. He told jokes, some of which his young wife didn’t quite understand.
— Wait for me in the bedroom, — he said suddenly, standing and kissing her on the lips.
Donatella felt a surge of excitement. She longed for the union with her husband, the one her aunt Leopoldina had described, the intimate act between a man and a woman. While browsing through her husband’s library out of curiosity, she had even found books with graphic depictions of the act. She obeyed her husband and went to their bedroom. The maid helped her undress and slip into her nightgown. Now that she thought about it, her husband had never seen her unclothed. She blushed, knowing there was no turning back tonight. She climbed into bed and covered herself, her nerves tingling as she awaited her beloved. Hours passed again, until sleep overtook her. She awoke to the sound of the bedroom door opening. The faint light from the candelabras illuminated the room. She heard Giuseppe remove his boots, and not just that—he was shedding his clothes as well. She felt him climb into bed and settle behind her. This time, he didn’t just embrace her; he reached for one of her breasts and caressed it. Surprised, the young woman opened her eyes. It was the first time her husband had touched her like this. She closed her eyes again, overwhelmed by the new sensations.
— My dear, — she heard him call, turning her to face him. He claimed her lips in an urgent kiss, coaxing her mouth open to meet the dance of his tongue. It was so delightful! — she thought, her heart brimming with love. Giuseppe lifted her arms to remove her nightgown.
— Most beautiful, — he murmured before taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. She moaned, overwhelmed by the pleasure her husband was giving her. She wanted to touch him too, running her hands over his chest, caressing him. Giuseppe guided her hand to his groin. Startled, she touched him, finding him soft. She heard her husband grunt in frustration.
— This isn’t working! — Giuseppe shouted, a tone she had never heard before. He pulled away from her and lay down beside her. Donatella couldn’t understand what she had done wrong to cause such a shift in his mood.
— I’m sorry, — she apologized, unsure of why she was even saying it.
Giuseppe sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair as he heard her soft sobs. He turned to look at her with pity; she was curled up, hugging her knees.
— My dear, — he called, — it’s not your fault.
— What’s wrong, my love? — she asked in a whisper, embracing him from behind.
Giuseppe turned and knelt on the bed, gripping her arms tightly and looking into her eyes. — I’m a failure, my dear! — he shook her slightly. — I’m impotent, — he confessed.
— I don’t understand, — she said innocently.
— I can’t get it up, damn it! This, — he gestured to himself, — this should be hard to give you pleasure, — he continued, frustration lacing his voice as Donatella blushed. It was the first time she had seen a man naked.
The young woman embraced her husband, whose eyes were filled with tears. She kissed his face, tasting the salt of his tears.
— I don’t care, — she said. — As long as we’re together, that’s more than enough for me.
— My dear! — he exclaimed, surprised. He kissed her and laid her down. — Let me give you pleasure in another way, — she heard him say. Confused, she didn’t understand what he meant until she saw him move toward her most intimate area. — Open your legs, my dear, — he instructed. She obeyed, watching as her husband’s face neared that forbidden place.
— What… what are you doing? — she asked.
— Just enjoy it, my dear, — the baron replied. Donatella was about to protest when she felt his tongue exploring and teasing her most sensitive spot. The movements of Giuseppe’s tongue made her crave more, and she began to move her hips, searching for something she couldn’t name, until an explosion of sensations overwhelmed her. She saw a burst of colorful lights and let out a triumphant cry. She had reached her climax.
The baron moved up to lie beside his wife, kissing her and cradling her in his arms.
— Sleep, my dear.
Donatella fell asleep happily in her husband’s embrace.
********
14 Years Later
Donatella wept beside the bed of her beloved husband. He was gravely ill, and the doctor had warned her that he could pass at any moment. She refused to leave his side, determined to spend every possible second with Giuseppe.
— My dear, I’m thirsty, — he whispered. The chestnut-haired woman brought a glass of water to his lips.
— Drink, my love.
— I love you so much, my dear, — he said in a faint voice. — I feel like I’m slipping away.
— Don’t say that, — she pleaded, heartbroken. The love of her life was dying, and she felt so powerless. Giuseppe had been a devoted husband, thoughtful and caring. He had given her pleasure even though they never consummated their marriage in the traditional sense. Beyond being her husband, he was her friend. They played together, went on picnics, read, rode horses, and shared countless beautiful moments—memories she would treasure forever in her heart.
— My dear, I want you to be happy, — he rasped before coughing. — Promise me you’ll be happy and won’t cry when I’m gone.
— No…
— Promise me! — he insisted.
— I promise, — she said, closing her eyes. This moment was excruciating.
Giuseppe took her soft hand and brought it to his lips.
— I love you. I made no mistake in asking you to be my wife. Forgive me for not fulfilling my duties as I should have.
— You’ve fulfilled everything, — she said through sobs. — I love you, — she hiccupped.
— I’m leaving this world happy, — the baron said with a faint smile. It was nearly midnight when Giuseppe fell asleep. Donatella drifted off in the chair she always kept by his bedside.
When she awoke, rays of sunlight streamed through the window.
— My love, — she tried to wake him, shaking him gently, but he didn’t stir. She shook him again. — Giuseppe! Please don’t leave me! — she cried uncontrollably. Her love had passed away.
For the funeral, her nephews, Alessandro and Rossi, arrived. Her brother had already passed, so Alessandro Lucchesi was now the Duke della Grazia. Rossi tried to comfort her aunt in every way possible, understanding her grief. Uncle Giuseppe had been a great man, loved by all.
A few days later, Donatella prepared her belongings to return to Florence with her nephews. Since they had no heirs, the barony would pass to a relative of her husband. However, the lawyer informed her that Giuseppe Ferrini’s will would be read in two days. They waited before returning to Tuscany.
Two days later, at the appointed meeting with the lawyer, they gathered in the study that had once been her husband’s.
— Madam Donatella, your husband left this letter for you.
— A letter? — she asked, somewhat confused.
— Yes, the baron asked me to keep it and deliver it to you after his passing.
Donatella took the paper with trembling hands. She glanced at the lawyer, then at her nephews. Finally, she mustered the courage to read:
My dearest,
My beloved Donatella, the apple of my eye, the most beautiful woman in all of Italy.
Tears welled in the young widow’s eyes. It felt as though she could hear her husband’s voice through the words.
You are an extraordinary woman, my friend and companion, the one who understood me from the very beginning. The one who walked by my side, always hand in hand.
I am pleased to tell you that all my properties are yours, including the title. It will pass to your child when you have one, for I know you will be a wonderful mother. Don’t make that face!
She read on, surprised. It was as if he had anticipated the expression she would wear.
I want you to be happy, to remarry and have many children. Don’t be afraid, for I know you will choose your next companion wisely.
I loved you always, I love you now, and I will continue to love you even from beyond.
Yours forever,
Giuseppe Ferrini, Baron of Trento.
Her vision blurred with tears. Rossi approached her aunt and embraced her.
— It’s alright, Donni, — she comforted.
— Is everything okay? — Alessandro asked, concerned.
Donatella nodded.
— Giuseppe left everything to me, including the title, — she informed them.
— Uncle was a great man. He would never leave you unprotected, — the duke remarked. — Is there any chance a relative might contest the title? — he directed this question to the lawyer.
— No, Your Excellency, — the lawyer replied respectfully. — Baron Ferrini was deeply loved, and his relatives have accepted his wishes. They have even signed a document stating they will not claim anything.
Alessandro was reassured by the response.
********
Donatella ultimately decided to stay in the home she had shared with her husband, sleeping while clutching the pillow that had been his. What would she do now? How would she face life without him? She asked herself many questions, unaware that fate would soon lead her to England, where she would begin to live anew.
*******